Reconstructing

    It has been over a decade since I have written any blog posts, but I feel the need to document my life journey again. Many things have happened over the years; yet, it also feels like nothing has happened when I review some of my old posts. 

    I am currently 35 years old and relocated to Chicago a month ago, renting a bed in the poverty-stricken neighborhood of Englewood. That said, I am grateful to have a place to stay. I have spent the last year as a vagabond, aimlessly wandering the country. During my journey, I had some powerful experiences and some terrible ones. The most impactful was coming closer to God while I was in Wyoming at Medicine Bow National Park during July of 2024. 

    I had been working as a substance abuse counselor in Northwest Arkansas for roughly a year and a half and quit my job due to being dissatisfied with management. I was underperforming and didn't fully understand what my role was supposed to be. Management also didn't seem to fully know what staff roles were supposed to be. There was very little structure. It turns out that I need structure and require a strong leader. I left my job with no plan and a couple thousand dollars. It wasn't the greatest decision of my life. That seems to be a recurring theme. 

    I found myself running from, well, myself after the shutdowns during COVID. While I wasn't doing the best in life prior to that, I was happy and making the most money I had ever made before (which isn't saying a lot). I was able to take a trip to London, England and plan future trips to Germany and Thailand. Unfortunately, the globe decided to freakout while I was in England. I came home, then started running away. First to Texas, then to Arkansas, then to anywhere, and now I am in a seedy neighborhood of Chicago. 

    The short of it is that I have placed myself in a terrible situation. Even though I was frustrated with my previous job, I did have a fairly comfortable life where I had my own two-bedroom apartment and could buy most of the things I wanted. I wasn't very responsible with my money, but I also learned that having a comfort without community is miserable. My goal for Chicago is to build community and have a full life.

    I came to Chicago because I want to live in an area with functional public transportation and have the ability to commute on a bicycle. The first thing I did when I arrived was purchase a suitable bicycle for my goal, so that's one success. Also, I enrolled in school for accounting. I am attending the Western Governor's University to complete the degree quickly, as I already have a bachelor's degree that I completed in 2019. My career goal is to work in the field of tax.

    Aforementioned, I had a strong spiritual experience in Wyoming that left me searching for more about God. The door to accepting the idea of God began with a nearly 5-year stint attending Alcoholics Anonymous from 2015 to 2020. Looking back, I wouldn't say I had a strong connection to God at that time despite talking as if I did. Of course, I am quite used to performing and trying to make people like me. It is a habit I would like to change. That said, Christianity has become interesting to me. I have been researching the history of the Church and the many branches of Her. I am coming to the conclusion that the Eastern Orthodox faith is the true faith of Christianity. I attended my first Divine Liturgy this morning and had a powerful experience. I never felt anything like it in other church services. Many of them felt like humans making things up or void of Christ entirely. Protestantism is something I was immediately uninterested in. I attempted attending a few different Catholic Masses, but they seemed to be wrong. The feeling of the churches alone seemed wrong. I am not quite sure how to describe it. 

    My intention is to blog regularly, at least once per week, in effort to document my new life and track the progress made during my new journey.

Update & Life Lessons on Infidelity

     It has been a few months since my last post, but I am back with a few updates and advice to anyone that may want it. In my previous entry I stated how important it is to keep your job in today's job market and that I had given up mine at the Martin Luther King Library at Los Angeles City College. Fortunately for me, I was able to reach out to my former boss, Barbara Vasquez, Library Chair, and she willingly went through the steps to get me reinstated as a library staff member. I am greatly in debt to her and her diligence. I had been given a new assignment, which took some getting used to, but is much more exciting than my previous one. Thank you Barbara! I hope you get well soon!

     In another, less cheerful event, I am no longer a family man. My now ex-fiancee Brittany and I are no longer together. We had a paternity test done on our daughter, Rikki, and it came to show that I am not her biological father. While I love her as my own flesh and blood, Brittany does not want me as a part of their life and has moved on. I find it selfish on her part, but I am confident that it will all play out for the better in the future. Rikki is a wonderful and highly intelligent little girl, and I am sure that she will grow to be a beautiful and successful woman. The grieving on my part is mostly over and I am ready to grow and learn from my experience. Some advice that I can give to anyone that may be in a situation similar to mine is that you should put the child first. While it may be infuriating to find that a child you were raising is not yours, and despite the love you have given, the mother no longer wants you in that child's life, remember that the environment in which the child is raised in will affect their lifetime development. No child should be subject to a hostile home environment (which ours was becoming) and the most fair thing to do is let them go. Life lasts for lifetime. There may be a time when Rikki wants to know a father and if her mother chooses to tell her about me, then I would love to know her, but if not, I will have to continue not having her in my life.

     None of what had happened is necessarily bad, just damaging to one's morale. But, morale can be risen, which mine has. I sleep well knowing that Rikki has a place to live and a family to love her which is all I really want. I too have the time to grow and the experience to share with others that may be going through a similar event. My main advice to those in my shoes are to let go and love your life. You have been granted the time to do things that you enjoy and are free of any attachment that may limit your potential happiness. Continue to live, not with hate, but with love.

-David Barton

Education kills creativity?

From what I have seen, the education system in California is but a factory. No real learning is occurring. There is little to nothing  natural about it. Students are feed information by their instructors and regurgitate the answers to them. If the student's word vomit is near equal to what the instructor had feed them, a student passes and is now learned. What if the student forgets the information once the term is over? Is he/she is still learned or have they reverted back to the state of unlearned? Next, did the academic system foresee this phenomenon or was it invented by the learners?

I can state from personal experience that the conventional education process actually limits, if not destroys, creativity. While studying or completing an assignment I need to make a choice. I can either be creative or complete the task correctly. There is very little room to do both. If I choose to correctly complete the task, which tends to be narrow in scope, I cannot be very creative as I can go out of the scope.

If You Have A Job, Keep It!

Job hunting as an undergraduate in Los Angeles is more difficult than it sounds. I recently quit my job at my campus library because I decided to take an extra five units of coursework. I am beginning to regret my decision. Throughout my search the discouraging phrase, "need a minimum of two years of experience in the field" has been repeated by every employer and agency.

Perhaps I am looking in the wrong place? Maybe internships are a better option? If any viewers have any input or advise for a student seeking work experience, please write me @ DavidBarton1989@gmail.com

Fathers Against Diapers

I find everything about being a father very fun (yes, even the poopy messes that come with it). My daughter, Rikki, is very beautiful and quite mellow. She loves eating, sleeping, and loves my music. Who would have thought babies enjoy death metal? I know many parents talk up about their children, but my words come from the mouths of others.

The reason why I am writing this post is because Rikki gave me a surprise today. I was reading a book to Rikki and Brittany about "elimination communication," or diaper free babies. The book discusses how babies do not like sitting in their own excrement and they give signs when they have to go. When the sign is given, the parent is supposed to place the infant on the potty or toilet. I think Rikki was listening very closely. She was making some noises like she had already done her business, so I took her into my room to change her and to my surprise the diaper was clean. At that moment she let everything go at once! I was covered in baby goo! As gross as it was, I was happy. I think she will do well with the infant toilet training considering how well she took in the oral lesson.

Family and Family

My daughter was born over the weekend. I am ecstatic and have not felt so much love in my life. She is three days old today. Her temperament is surprisingly mellow. I was expecting a lot of crying, poop everywhere, spit up... you know, the works. What I have is pretty much the opposite. There has only been two spit ups and her poops are quite modest. As cliché as it is, she is my little bundle of joy. I take it that not everyone feels the same as I do.

I find it absurd how people can be extremely selfish and be completely oblivious to their behavior for years at a time. When a new child comes into someone's life, that person's life is changed forever. It should be joyous moment. For my dad I guess it isn't. Not only was he unhappy in the hospital during the delivery of his grandchild, but to this day he doesn't understand why I do not wait up until 10 or 11 o'clock for him to get home and stay tending to my daughter's needs in the morning, or sleeping because she had me up all that night. He does not inquire about her nor does he take any initiative when it comes to conversation that doesn't concern his ego. He only asks me if I am mad at him (which I will be if continues to act as he does). Things are quite strange.

Theories

Black Holes and stars: black holes are always present within a star and are a key component.

Rekei: A sham. All persons have the power to heal their own injuries without the aid of an outsider. I come to this because a requirement of the practice is for he being held to believe that rekei works which in turn gives the practitioner the power to heal.

Being rich: The worst thing that could ever happen to most people. It could cause someone to destroy themselves or become excessively bored.